Lyrics

When Abe Vigoda jumps for joy
all the girls and little boys
get gussied in their whiskey suits
and wax about their zipper fruits
you bring the creams Ill bring the toys
when Abe Vigoda jumps for joy

When Buddy Hackett goes to bed
folks next door are pissing red
dust off those stars and bars
sharpen up those fighting stars
take a snort to feed your head
when Buddy Hackett goes to bed

When Eddie Arnold claps his hands
Severenson strikes up the band
the pups recline on grandpas knee
and dance around the Zima tree
you'll need at least 300 grand
when Eddie Arnold claps his hands

When Cloris Leachman feeds her dog
emerging from her sloe gin fog
she paints her face to dance a jig
fumbles for her spoon and rig
the princess finally found her frog
when Cloris Leachman feeds her dog